This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
