Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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