She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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