Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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