you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
