I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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