I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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