I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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