Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
