your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sext me about skeletons
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
