you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
