you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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