i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
