I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
