Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
