just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
