Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
