I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
BRING THE BAGELS
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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