Where is the hickey?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
