Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
