Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
