i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
