Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
