when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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