Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
