Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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