I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
