the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
