how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
