sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
