Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
