dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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