Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish I could punch you in the face.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
