haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
