I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
