Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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