gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
