I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize