You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
