In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
