whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
