all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We had sex on a dog bed..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize