He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
