my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
