You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
