is wine microwaveable?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
