I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
These tits shall not be calmed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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