I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
