My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
