Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
