And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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