can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
