I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
