WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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