Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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