So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
