Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
