im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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